


Yours and Mine

by rose_willow



Category: Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, M/M, Mentions of Injuries, Sabine and Ezra are siblings, background Kanera, basically kanan and zeb talk, i meant this to be fluffy what have i done, injured kallus, kallus has a little bit of self-loathing, they are family, worried zeb
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-02
Updated: 2020-05-11
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:40:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23959330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rose_willow/pseuds/rose_willow
Summary: A series of one-shots for Kalluzeb Appreciation Week 2020!!Set at different points in their relationship.Tags to be added as stories are.
Relationships: Alexsandr Kallus/Garazeb "Zeb" Orrelios, Ezra Bridger & Sabine Wren, Kanan Jarrus & Garazeb "Zeb" Orrelios, Kanan Jarrus/Hera Syndulla
Comments: 20
Kudos: 92
Collections: Kalluzeb appreciation week 2020.





	1. Day 1 - Yours and Mine

**Author's Note:**

> For Kalluzeb Week Day 1 - Tender and (almost) prisoner of the empire
> 
> Posting this at 11:46 my time so IT STILL COUNTS AS DAY 1  
> Also, I'm rewatching Rebels and I CAN NOT STOP THINKING ABOUT THESE TWO LIKE THANK YOU DAVE FILONI AND STEVE BLUME
> 
> Update: I just made this multiple chapters for the rest of KAW 2020, but decided to keep the title the same. My apologies. I'm still not 100% on how AO3 works.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zeb reflects on his and Kallus's relationship after a mission gone wrong.

“Captain Orrelios!”

Zeb looked over his shoulder at the rebel frantically running towards him and a lead weight dropped into the pit of his stomach. The way that the rebel simultaneously looked like they couldn’t tell Zeb fast enough and didn’t want to be the one to say anything reminded him of the fact that Kallus was out on a mission at that moment. 

“What is it?” He asked, his voice gruff and low. He hoped it was enough to hide the growing anxiety that he was feeling. 

The rebel stopped and panted for a moment, their eyes wide as they looked around the rest of the Ghost crew, all gathered around a projection table. The crew all watched them, waiting for them to speak. Finally, the rebel looked back at Zeb and managed, “We just got a transmission. One of our intell scouting groups. They were on-planet, but then we lost contact. They just re-entered the system. They requested a medical team be ready.”

Zeb wanted to ask a whole list of questions. _What happened? Ready for what? Where were they scouting? How many ships left here and how many are returning? Is Kallus on one of them? Please tell me that Kallus is on one of them._ Instead, all he managed was a choked snarl as he ran from the room. His long legs carried him towards the hanger faster than any of the rest of the crew. He could hear Kanan calling behind him, urging him to slow down. Hera’s voice was overlapping with his, and there was also Sabine and Ezra, but he ignored them. He ended up sliding out of the hallway, nearly parallel with the ground as he emerged into the hanger. He got there just in time to see the two ships come in. 

They were smoking and struggling as they set down. An engine gave out on one and sent it crashing the last bit, pilots, hanger workers, and marshalls running towards the remaining ship as it eventually came to a rest on Yavin IV. Rebels started spilling from open hatches, coughing and leaning on the shoulders of others as they were pulled from the damaged ships. 

Zeb frantically scanned over the heads of the crowd, searching for a mop of blonde hair that he was beginning to know so well. His yellow eyes caught it on the other side of the crowd. “Kallus!” 

He pushed his way through, gently guiding people out of his path as he wove his way through as fast as possible. Later, he would realize that his point of destination never made an attempt to get closer to him and it would make sense. In the moment, he wasn’t thinking about it as a smile spread across his face. The crowd seemed to split at the very end and he stumbled out. “Kallus, I-.”

His breath rushed out of his chest and the smile dropped off his face as he came to a stop beside the human. 

There was blood covering the left side of Kallus’ face as he stared vacantly into the distance of Yavin IV. Zeb could see more blood on his left hip and he seemed to be favoring his right knee, the one that had been giving him trouble since Bahryn. He stumbled another step, looking around the base as if in a trance. 

“Kallus?” Zeb asked, stepping in front of him. “Kal, can you hear me?” His frown deepened, if that was even possible at that point, and he grabbed the ex-agent’s biceps as he tried to side-step the Lasat. “Oi! Where are you going? What happened?”

Still not looking at him, Kallus answered, “Empire . . . Thrawn knew . . . Set a trap.” He reached a hand down and touched at a spot hidden under his jacket on his left hip. When he pulled it back, his fingers were covered in bright red blood. A drunken, lopsided grin spread across his face as he gazed at his hand, turning Zeb’s stomach as he started frantically searching around for a medic. “Almost didn’t get out.”

“Karabast. That’s enough of that. We’re finding you a medic. Come on.” 

There were several reasons why Zeb liked Kallus. He was easy to talk to, smart but not a know-it-all, and he looked good with his hair down. On top of all those, though, he was _strong_. Zeb sometimes forgot just how strong the human was until moments like that, where he was losing blood at an alarming rate (which was any rate in Zeb’s opinion when it came to Kallus and the rest of his family) and he still managed to twist Zeb’s arm to just the right angle where he was forced to let go. “Kallus!”

Kallus had backed away a few steps from Zeb, his head down. Blood dripped from his chin and fell in fat spots onto the ground as he shook his head. “No. Go help the others. Don’t - don’t waste medical supplies on me. I’m fine.”

Suddenly, Zeb was back in the Ghost after their escape from Atollon. Kallus was in a similar condition, standing against the wall, refusing medical supplies. _“Don’t waste your bacta on me. I’m fine. Others need it more.”_

Zeb took a step towards him, hiding the hurt when Kallus backed away. “Kal, we have plenty.” It was a lie, but he wasn’t really sure how the human was still on his feet after the injuries he had obviously suffered. There was a fear, a recurring anxiety that Zeb had that Kallus would refuse medical aid just one too many times. That he would find him, someday, slouched against a wall while a medic treated someone else for a sprained wrist. That in the time it took for the medic to apply a bandaid, Kallus would . . .

He shook his head and let the trail of thought die there. He couldn’t think that way. Wouldn’t think that way.

“Come on, Ka-.”

“Others need more attention that I do. Go and see to them,” Kallus insisted again. 

A thought occurred to him as he took another step and Kallus backed away. “Kal, do you know who I am?” He didn’t respond, so Zeb pushed on, quieter, so that only Kallus could hear. “Sasha, it’s me.”

Finally, those light brown eyes locked with his yellow ones. The pupils were still blown, but Zeb breathed a small sigh of relief when they focused slightly more than they had been. _Sasha._ A private name, one that Zeb only used when it was just them. Even now, in the midst of medics and blood, it came out more like a purr than anything else. Kallus took a step towards him, hand extended to grasp at Zeb’s wrist when his hand was within reach. 

“Garazeb?” He questioned, squinting his eyes even though they were, now, only about a foot apart. His other hand came up to run blood stained fingers through Zeb’s beard. “My Garazeb?”

“It’s me,” Zeb reassured, his arm winding around Kallus’s waist to draw him closer. He could feel the quivers running through the ex-agent’s body and his skin had grown paler in the moments they’d been standing there. “I’m here. I’ve got you. We need to get you medical attention.”

Kallus still shook his head, fingers weakly gripping Zeb’s hand and shoulder. “No,” he breathed. “Others,” he swayed in Zeb’s arms but still fought to complete his thought. “Others need it more . . .” 

Zeb dove slightly to catch him as Kallus’s legs gave out and his forehead fell against his shoulder. He’d lost weight since their excursion on Bahryn, but muscle was always heavy, making him lighter but not light. Still, Zeb didn’t hesitate to scoop the human the rest of the way into his arms, holding him firmly against his chest. He tried to ignore the blood that he could feel sticking in his fur as he turned. Kanan was still there, facing his direction. “Kanan.” Zeb hated the way his voice sounded; weak and breathy, halfway between a plea and a sob. _Scared._ “Help.” He didn’t know where the word came from. He hadn’t planned to ask for help. He’d planned on going to find a medic, but there was panic welling in his chest. It wasn’t unfamiliar, but it took him back to days where his world was collapsing down around his ears and the sky was on fire with Imperial ships. He had a flash image of his hands being coated in the blood of his people before he blinked and it was Kallus again, draped in his arms. _My Sasha._

“Don’t worry, Zeb,” Kanan said, reaching out a hand as Zeb took a few steps closer. They started walking back through the thinning crowd as Kanan continued, “Sabine went to find a medic.” 

* * *

Zeb _hated_ that hallway. 

He’d been sitting it in for over an hour now and he _hated_ it. 

But not as much as he hated the door at the end of it. 

The past few hours had been a blur for Zeb. He remembered following Kanan to where they eventually were rejoined by Sabine. A medic took one look at Kallus and rushed them to the infirmary. There was some kind of debate about a tank, but they eventually decided against it and then there were a lot of patches. Then, they’d pushed him out of the room. Something about a ‘sterile environment’. Then, that door had closed in front of him and he couldn’t see Kallus anymore. 

“How are you doin’?”

As a trained member of the Lasan Honor Guard, Zeb didn’t get startled. It was against his iron conditioning. So, he didn’t jump when Kanan spoke up from beside him. 

“Kanan.” He wasn’t breathing heavily. “Warn a guy next time.”

“Sorry. Didn’t mean to sneak up on you.” He slid down the wall and sat next to Zeb. “I did call your name, though, and you didn’t answer.”

_Oh._

“Looked to be pretty deep in thought. I decided to come over and make sure that you weren’t hurtin’ yourself.” When Zeb didn’t respond to the playful jab, Kanan bumped his shoulder. “He’s going to be okay.”

“I don’t like it when you do your weird jedi stuff,” Zeb pouted. 

“I don’t have to be a jedi to see that you’re worried about him,” Kanan answered. He’d removed his visor, so, when he looked at Zeb, Zeb could actually see the paleness and scarring of his eyes. He missed being able to look Kanan in the eye. It was a sign of respect, how they communicated what they were thinking in the middle of a firefight. He missed his brother’s eyes. 

Zeb nodded and let his head fall back against the wall behind them. “Guess you’re right.” About which detail, not even Zeb was positive. 

They sat in silence for a few moments, Kanan’s shoulder flush against Zeb’s bicep. The Lasat appreciated the silent support. It made him hate the hallway a little bit less. That door, though . . .

“Do you remember when Hera was in that bad wreck?”

Zeb knew exactly what Kanan was talking about. They’d all been terrified when they saw her drop out of hyperspace, her ship little more than a flaming shell. They’d been afraid of what they were going to find once they recovered it. None more so than Kanan. That was the closest Zeb had ever seen him get to breaking. “I do.”

“I was _so scared_ ,” Kanan accented. Zeb knew the significance, had heard him repeat it to Ezra in their training: Jedi weren’t supposed to feel fear. “I thought I was going to lose her.” His weight was a little heavier when he said, “I just wanted you to know that I know how this feels and, if you need to talk, I’m here.”

“It’s just -,” Zeb started, fighting for the words. The feeling, the fear, was there, but it was amorphous. He didn’t know how to describe it. “This is so - I’m afraid that . . .” The truth hit him and was rushing past his teeth before he could filter it. “I’m afraid of losing him now that he’s mine.” He shook his head. “That came out wrong. He’s not mine, he’s his own, but I’ve lost almost everything else except for you guys,” he said, referring to the Ghost crew, “and now that he’s there, too, I’m so scared that he’ll have escaped only to be snatched up and destroyed by the Empire. Just like everything else.” When his head had sunk into his hands, Zeb didn’t know, but there was moisture clinging to the corners of his eyes as he added, “I don’t want to lose him, too.” 

Silence stretched through the hallway again. He could hear Kanan breathing beside him as he pulled his head out of his hands and leaned back against the wall, eyes closed. 

“If we’re fixed on the losses of the past, we’ll never be able to appreciate the gifts of the present.” 

Zeb smiled and cracked an eye open, looking down at the cross-legged human. “That was some deep jedi wisdom, there.” 

Kanan shrugged. “It sounded pretty good in my head.” 

“Captain Orrelios?”

They both looked up at the medic standing over them. She smiled kindly. “If you want to, you can see Captain Kallus, now.”

* * *

Kallus knew something was wrong the second he woke up. It was too quiet. He’d grown used to the snoring of a certain big, purple cat in recent cycles and he found, oddly enough, that he couldn’t sleep as well without it, now. As his senses returned to him, he was greeted with the sounds of beeping and hushed voices, but no obnoxious Lasat snoring. That was when he felt the weight on his hand. 

Rolling his head on the pillow beneath him, he smiled. _Speaking of obnoxious Lasat._

Zeb was there. 

His head and shoulders were on the side of Kallus’s bed, four fingered hand wrapped around his, causing the weight. Kallus couldn’t see his face as he was looking away, but he could tell, by his breathing, that the Honor Guard was awake. 

“Captain Orrelios, isn’t there something you should be doing?”

Kallus was expecting a retort of some kind, maybe a toothy grin and some kind of chastisement for getting into trouble without him. He wasn’t expecting for Zeb to look up, eyes wide with relief, before he surged forwards and rubbed his temple against Kallus’s. A deep rumbling purr filled the space between them as Kallus reached up and buried his fingers in Zeb’s furr, running his hands up the Lasat’s arms. He froze when he encountered something crusty and pulled away to inspect it. 

There were chips of something red and flaky on his fingers. When he looked back at Zeb, he saw that Zeb’s yellow eyes were also fixed on the red flakes and the purring had stopped. Kallus was suddenly very aware that he didn’t remember getting back to base. There was a chunk of his memory that was just missing. 

“Zeb? What happened? Are you alright?” 

Zeb’s arms were bracketing him on either side as he sat on the edge of the rebel spy’s bed. “I’m fine.” The words came out tight and choked as he looked away, hiding his face. 

Kallus reached up towards him, grasping at the seams of his jumpsuit. “The mission -.”

“What do you remember?” Zeb interrupted. 

“I remember,” Kallus started, fighting for the memories through the fog. “We made it to the planet. We were gathering intel. Then-.” His eyes went wide as the fog cleared. “Death troopers. Thrawn. He set a trap. One of the ships - the pilot . . .” He was vaguely aware of the increased beeping beside him, of the way that Zeb’s hands had moved from the bed to be grasping his arms. “We retreated to the remaining carriers.” His hand went to his hip at the memory of the blaster shot that had torn right through him, sending him to the ground. There’d been a shearing pain that had filled his senses and everything had gone fuzzy before shouting voices had brought him back and made him push himself back to his feet and keep running and firing. He skipped over that detail. _Unimportant_ , his mind supplied. “We barely made it off the planet. There was a Star Destroyer. They opened fire. Our ships were damaged but we managed to jump to hyperspace.”

Zeb nodded, head still down, hiding his face in shadow despite the way his hands were gently clutching at Kallus. 

Kallus sighed. “I’ll have to write a message to the family of the pilot. They should be informed.” 

“Yeah.”

“I’ve told you how writing messages to families of lost soldiers is harder in the Rebellion that it was in the Empire.”

“You did.”

“Then, I’ll have to meet with the Generals. They need to be debriefed-.” He stopped as Zeb pulled him up off the bed. 

It hurt. 

His hip was screaming at him, his head spinning as he went upright, but he needed the contact. Kallus needed Zeb to hold him, just for a few moments, and let him remember that, once again, they’d made it. That they were here together. He needed the Lasat’s strong heartbeat in his ear; needed to feel his chest rise and fall with breaths and the silky fur between his fingers. To remember that he wasn’t alone, that he would never be alone again. Kallus just needed Zeb.

The moment could only last so long before his inhalation turned to a hiss and he betrayed the pain he was in. 

“Karabast, Kal, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you,” Zeb said, pulling away. He laid him back down, handling him like he was made of glass. 

“It’s okay,” Kallus soothed, combing some of the red flakes out of Zeb’s fur with his fingers. “I - I needed that, too.”

“I just -.” He was facing the Fulcrum agent again, revealing to Kallus the stress-lined eyes. His ears drooped as he continued, “I was so scared that I was going to lose you.”

Kallus smiled, reached up, and cupped the Lasat’s jaw, thumb stroking across his cheekbone. “No matter what happens, Garazeb Orrelios, you will never lose me.”

Zeb smiled down at him before leaning forwards to rub his cheek against the crown of Kallus’s head. Pulling back, he pressed a kiss to the human’s forehead, smiling into his skin as he felt him press closer. “And I am yours, my Sasha.” 

  
  


Bonus:

“Eww! Get a room!” 

Zeb jumped up from his position perched on the side of Kallus’s bed and turned, positioning himself between Kallus and the newcomers. Kallus couldn’t help but grin behind Zeb’s back, laughing at Zeb’s apparent instinct to protect his honor. 

“What are you two doing here?” Zeb asked, facing Sabine and Ezra. They were leaning in the doorway, Sabine wearing the epitome of a kark-eating-grin and Ezra making a fake-gagging face. 

“Hera sent us down here to check on Kallus!” Ezra defended, hands raised in a placating surrender.

“She wanted to check in on his recovery. Make sure he was doing okay,” Sabine added, tone innocent enough despite her grin.

“But!” Ezra cut in. He donned a grin to match Sabine’s. “We can both see that he is doing _just fine_.” 

Zeb raised a single finger in warning towards them. “You get outta here and forget what you saw or Hera finds out what happened to her last crate of meilooruns.”

Both their grins dropped. Sabine straightened her back and tucked her helmet under her arm before marching out of the infirmary. Ezra offered a rushed, “We’ll tell her he’s doing fine,” before following her out. 

“That worked better than I thought it would,” Zeb admitted as he turned back around and helped Kallus in his struggle to sit up. He slid in behind Kallus, allowing the ex-agent to fall back against his chest, alleviating some of the stress on his injuries. 

“What did happen to this supposed crate of meilooruns?” Kallus asked. 

Zeb shrugged. “Beats me. But everytime I bring it up, they respond like that, so they were obviously involved. Just because I don’t know exactly what they did, doesn’t mean I can’t still use it as a threat.”

Kallus grinned as he let his eyes slide back closed, feeling safe and content as Zeb wound his arms around his chest. “And they call me the intelligence operative.”

Resting his cheek on top of Kallus’s head, Zeb purred, “Better watch out, Kallus. I think you just gave me a compliment.” 

Kallus gave the arm wrapped around his chest one last pat-pat before mumbling, “Only because you’re my favorite.”

Zeb smiled and waited. 

Waited for the breaths against his arm to even and lengthen out, for the heart-rate monitor beside them to level out, for his instincts to tell him that, based upon their prior nights spent together, Kallus was asleep, before he said, “Yeah. I love you, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posting this at 11:46 my time so IT STILL COUNTS AS DAY 1  
> Also, I'm rewatching Rebels and I CAN NOT STOP THINKING ABOUT THESE TWO LIKE THANK YOU DAVE FILONI AND STEVE BLUME


	2. Day 2 - Lasat Mating Ritual

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes, a mating ritual can look like a duel between two captains because one of them doesn't know how to talk about emotions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This just happened and it's a day late so I'm not positive what it is.

“You! Fulcrum! Face me!”

It wasn’t exactly like the first time. Then, they’d pretty intent on killing each other. Now, holding out a training bo staff, calling to the retreating back of Ex-Imperial Agent Kallus, Zeb didn’t want to hurt him. His actions were to keep the man from getting hurt. 

Kallus turned slowly to look at him over his shoulder, momentarily forgetting the small data pad in his hands. He opened his mouth, like he was about to refute Zeb’s demand, but something caused him to set his jaw, instead, and set the pad down on a nearby crate. He slid his jacket off his shoulders and started to walk towards the training mats. 

Zeb grinned and tossed the bo staff in his hands to the approaching intelligence operative. Kallus caught it easily. He gave it a test spin as he kicked his shoes off and stepped onto the mat. 

They started to slowly circle each other, keeping an even distance between them as they carefully stepped. Kallus grinned, but it didn’t touch his eyes. “Do you not remember how that duel ended?”

“Wasn’t a fair fight. You cheated,” Zeb answered, clenching his fists around the staff. 

Besides, claiming some kind of title or “redeeming his reputation” were far from his mind when it came to this duel. He was worried about the human. He needed a way to get through to him. This seemed the best option. 

Kallus moved first, attempting to slide under his stance. A staff came perilously close to jabbing Zeb's jaw, but he batted it away and traded the maneuver for a few of his own. Then, they were going. They twirled and struck, trading blocked blows. Zeb could feel Kallus holding back, pulling his punches and ensuring that none of his hits would actually strike the Lasat. The change was subtle, but Zeb could feel it nonetheless. He didn’t want that. 

“You’ve gotten sloppy, Kal,” Zeb mocked, attempting to goad the other rebel. 

“Oh, have I?” Kallus’s eyes narrowed as he attacked again, putting more force behind this blow. Zeb nodded in satisfaction as Kallus broke out of it into another sweeping move that had him scrambling backwards to avoid the hit. Kallus smirked as Zeb moved to regain his posture. 

“Haha! There you are!” Zeb cheered, before going into his own attack, clawed hands spinning the bo staff. They went into another back and forth, trading blocked blows like that first time. He could see the focus dripping with the sweat down Kallus’s brow and felt his own muscles begin to quake with the exertion. It had been awhile since they’d had to fight with such control and precision that was demanded in a bo rifle duel. 

Striking downward, he continued to press down after Kallus had blocked the blow, pushing him to a knee. They were close, nearly nose to nose as Zeb pressed forwards and Kallus did everything in his power to keep whatever footing he had. The human was outmatched when it came to brute strength, something that Zeb was capitalizing on. 

“Tell me, Kallus, would you have killed me that day? During our first duel?”

The question threw Kallus as he looked up at Zeb. His eyes went wide and his jaw dropped. In a spin, he disengaged, sending Zeb tripping forwards with his own momentum while Kallus rolled and jumped back to his feet. His eyes were guilty and distant as Zeb turned around and he answered. “I would have. If young Bridger hadn’t intervened . . .”

He trailed off and Zeb jumped back in, forcing him to raise his bo staff to block. Zeb started to move, but Kallus twisted his staff and grabbed Zeb’s. On a smaller, or even just human sized opponent, it would have given Kallus the perfect opportunity to execute several different maneuvers, most of which would end with the fighter in Zeb’s position flat on the ground. However, for someone of a Lasat’s size and strength, it just left them pinned together. 

Zeb used the chance. “Would you have regretted it?”

Kallus’s light brown eyes stared into Zeb’s yellow ones. His voice cracked in his throat as he fought to form a sentence. Finally, he said, “That me, that past version, wouldn’t have. Who I am now,” he hesitated, but something had shifted in Zeb’s eyes. 

Something had shifted in Zeb. His grip relaxed, but neither of them pulled away. They were still pressed together, sharing the same space, breathing the same air. He’d wanted to get Kallus to open up, to talk. This hadn’t been expected. 

Kallus continued. “I would have regretted it more than anything else I’ve ever done. I’m not sure what would have happened . . . If I’d be here.” 

Zeb could imagine, even if he didn’t want to. Would the rebellion have lost Kallus over Atollon? Would the ex-ISB operative have simply surrendered himself to whatever fate Governor Pryce had concocted for him? He didn’t let his mind wander any further.

Instead, he found his voice soft and low, saying, “You couldn’t have known.”

Kallus pushed him away, violently, before stepping back, reassuming his position, and spinning the bo staff into a downward attack. Zeb blocked it, readjusting to block the next strike that came faster than the first. 

“That’s no excuse!” He swung again. “I should have asked questions, like you told me! I should have dug deeper!” Another strike. “I shouldn’t have just accepted things as they were!” He stepped back, taking up a defensive stance, bare feet spread and shoulders heaving. “That's why I have to do this; why I have to do everything in my power to help those people that I’ve hurt.” His shoulders drooped as his attention wandered. Zeb could see the bags under his eyes, could almost imagine the weight of his guilt as something physical, pushing him down. 

“I don’t know if I’ll ever do enough to undo what I’ve done.”

“It’s not about doing enough,” Zeb offered. “It’s about doing what you can. In my book, you’ve already put yourself on that path.”

Their shoulders were heaving with breaths as they stood on opposite sides of the mat, Kallus looking off to the side, Zeb watching him. He watched him take a breath, voice soft as he said, “That first duel . . . What I said about what happened on Lasan . . . I never did apologize.”

“You didn’t have to. I forgave you back on Bahryn.”  _ When I gave you my name,  _ Zeb finished privately. 

Kallus nodded and started to turn away, heading towards the edge of the mat. 

“Did you forget?” Zeb moved to trip him from behind. “Never turn your back -.” 

He wasn’t quite sure how he ended up on his back. It’d been awhile since they’d dueled and he’d forgotten how  _ fast  _ Kallus was. The human had done some kind of backflip over Zeb’s bo staff and landed in a squat before spinning and knocking Zeb’s knees out. A second later and he had rolled up Zeb and landed in a crouch on top of Zeb’s chest, bo staff poised beside his head, breathing hard.

Zeb wasn’t breathing. He couldn’t bring himself to do anything as he looked up at the other man. Something was happening, had been happening for the last few minutes since Kallus had admitted that he would have regretted killing him. Now, with Kallus heaving in breaths on top of him, hair mussed and skin shiny with sweat, Zeb found himself completely disarmed and willingly trapped. 

Kallus gave him a concerned look. “Are you - alright?”

“Where did you learn that?”

The human shrugged. “I’m not sure. I’m sorry. Instinct just took over.” As if suddenly realizing where he was, he clumsily but carefully climbed off of Zeb and stood up. 

Zeb found himself missing the weight and was even more confused than before.

“Here,” Kallus said, reaching down a hand to pull the Lasat up. 

Zeb silently accepted the hand and then the bo staff and watched as Kallus turned away to collect his shoes, jacket, and data pad. “Hey! Kallus!” He called after him. 

Kallus, arms full of his items, turned and looked at Zeb over his shoulder.

“I’m really glad you didn’t take your chances with the Empire - Alex.”

Kallus smiled at him and something else in his chest shifted again. Those light brown eyes creased at the corners and Zeb found himself smiling, too.

Off to the side of the mat, with a group of other rebels, all gathered around to watch the fight, Ezra gaped. 

Sabine was standing next to him, handing a few credits to Hera. 

“What happened?” Kanan asked. “I felt something change, but what happened?”

Sabine groaned. “Kallus won.”

“How?” Kanan asked. 

“Because he was fighting Kallus,” Hera offered, tucking the credits into a pocket of her jumpsuit. 

“What does that mean?”

“WHAT JUST HAPPENED?” Ezra finally managed. 

They’d all seen it. The look on Kallus’s face; the fondness in Zeb’s eyes. The way that Zeb had just let himself be pinned to the mat. 

Simultaneously, Sabine and Hera said, “Lasat mating ritual.”

“WHAT??!!!” 

As they tried to explain, Zeb continued to stare through the door that Kallus had

disappeared through. He wanted to feel success over the fact that he had gotten Kallus to open up a little bit, but all he could do was wonder whether or not Kallus’s hair was as soft as it looked. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Had to repost because AO3 is messing with notes and stuff. Sorry. Hope everyone liked this chapter! I'm working on 3 right now so we'll see when that one goes up.


	3. Day 3 - With You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kallus tells a story of rescuing Zeb and Zeb ponders an important question about their future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> KAW Day 3 - Force Sensitive Kallus and adopting.   
> I actually had a lot of fun writing this (which is probably why it got written so fast!! Yay!!) and I actually kinda like how it turned out.   
> Hope everyone enjoys!

Alexsandr Kallus groaned and looked up from the pillow. Throughout their small ship, he could hear the pleading cries of the baby. Turning his head, and headbutting the pillow, he sighed and mumbled, “Does she do anything but cry?”

He felt Zeb headbutt him in the middle of his back and try to burrow under him, a similar groan hissing between his teeth. “That has yet to be seen.”

“Well,” Kallus said, pulling the blanket higher towards his chin, “it’s your turn.”

“No it ain’t,” Zeb refuted. “I went two hours ago.”

Kallus reluctantly pushed himself up. “I was hoping you’d lost track.” Sitting on the edge of the bed, he rolled his shoulders and stretched his neck before shoving off the side of the bed. His knee twinged and he winced. “I’ll be right back,” he yawned, shuffling out of the room. 

The ship hummed beneath his socked feet as he padded into the hallway and a quick glance towards the open door of the cockpit revealed a blue glow coming through the front window, showing that they were still in hyperspace. Their small ship wasn’t as nice or as fast as the Ghost, but it got the job done. It was small enough for the two of them to handle, had enough guns for them to get them out of any trouble they encountered, and, most importantly, it was theirs. 

They’d spent some time after the end of the war just hanging in limbo. They didn’t quite know what they were supposed to do and, before they’d talked about it, were both afraid that the other would want to move on. It had been a very tearful and giddy conversation as they’d realized that what they had wasn’t just something to get them through a war; it was something to fight a war for. 

Stepping into the other room of the ship, Kallus winced as the baby’s cry hit his ears with newfound intensity. “Shh,” he cooed, crossing the remaining space to the child. “It’s okay, sweetheart. I’m here, now. Shh, it’s okay.”

The small Lasat’s cries dwindled and died as he scooped her into his arms. Her small fingers and toes twisted into his sleep shirt as he pulled her close. His hand cradled the back of her head, just as Hera had shown him when Jacen was born, as he rocked her. Big green eyes looked up at him as her ears turned and faced towards his soft voice. 

“There we go, baby-girl. See? Everything’s alright.” He smiled down at her and ran the tips of his fingers through her soft, short fur. She yawned and snuggled against his chest, her eyes blinking slowly. “Oh. I see. Did you just get lonely? Here,” he said, moving to the nearest wall and sliding down to sit on the floor. His knee twinged again but he ignored it. “That’s okay. I get lonely sometimes, too.” He drew his legs up so they supported his arms in cradling the small kit and leaned back against the wall. “Would you like to hear a story?”

She snuggled deeper against his chest and burbled happily, a small purr echoing through the space. Kallus smiled down at her. 

“Let’s see. Have I told you the story of when Uncle Zeb got captured?”

He took her green eyes blinking slowly at him as a negative. 

“Alrighty. Well, this was before we finally beat the Empire, right? And I was  _ terrified _ . Things had just been changing and . . . I thought I was going to lose him. You see, he’d gone on a mission and his team had returned without him, saying that he’d been captured. And,” Kallus shivered, unconsciously readjusting his hold on the child in his arms, “I knew what happened to Lasat in an Imperial Prison.

“But I’m getting off track. Sabine and I came up with a plan and tracked down the ship he was on. He’d actually been given to the Mining Guild and, trust me when I say that they are not nice people. Anyways, we tracked down the ship that he was on and boarded it . . .

_ “Ah ah. If you know what’s good for you, you’ll back very slowly away from that comm system,” Kallus threatened, pressing the barrel of his blaster against the spine of the Mining Guild Captain. “Good man.” With a tilt of his head, a member of their incursion team stunned the Captain, causing the man to slump out of the chair.  _

_ Sabine rushed to Kallus’s side, her fingers flying over the keypad of the computer. “He’s definitely on this ship,” she confirmed, eyes scanning the information scrawling across the screen in front of her. “Let me see if I can get a more precise location.”  _

_ Kallus nodded and waited. His mind wandered, revisiting him with the moment that he had dreaded since growing closer to Zeb.  _ “I’m sorry Captain Kallus. He ordered us to take off. There was nothing we could do. They’d already gotten him.”  _ Fool Lasat, Kallus thought. Just like Zeb to play hero.  _

_ Too late, he heard the spinning of gears behind him. Drawing his gun and firing under his arm in a half spin, he hit the droid dead center, sending it sputtering and shaking before it powered down, data stick still impaled in the terminal beside it. _

_ “Blast it!” Sabine cursed, hands thumping the terminal. “It erased his location!”  _

_ “Do we have anything?” Kallus asked, speaking past the lump in his throat. His stomach was a knot and he probably would’ve been sick already if he wasn’t so wired with adrenaline.  _

_ “I have a hold. #32. I guess that’s something considering there are 98. But the holds are huge!” _

_ “Let’s go.” Because he didn’t know what else to do. He  _ **_had_ ** _ to find Zeb. If they didn’t find him, if Kallus lost him . . . It didn’t do to dwell on it.  _

_ They made their way down to the hold. Thankfully, as with many Mining Guild ships, it was lightly crewed. Mainly, the Mining Guild ships had 1 captain, a foreman to control the slaves, and maybe a few extra people for security.  _

_ The foreman was no match for the enraged Kallus.  _

_ “Let’s keep moving,” he said as he passed Sabine after charging the armed foreman straight into an escaped pod, sealing the hatch, and sending them spinning out into the dark abyss of space.  _

_ They found the hold easily enough after that, but, as he opened the door, he felt some of his hope dwindle.  _

_ Sabine had been right. It was huge. Stacked with shipping crates and cages, they could see smaller shipping containers throughout. It was a maze and, according to what little information they had, Zeb was supposedly somewhere in there.  _

_ Kallus felt anger well up inside him. They were so close. They’d come too close to be stopped now. “We need to find him,” Kallus unintentionally whispered.  _

_ “I know, but look at this! We have no idea where to start! It would take a miracle!” _

“Maybe it was a miracle,” Kallus mused, kit held close against his chest. He could hear her breathing quietly, the purrs dying down as she fell back asleep. He continued. 

_ Kallus looked around, the anger dying away. Anger was for indecision. Instead, what he felt was a cold acceptance. He would search this hold for Garazeb Orrelios. Even if the Mining Guild came to stop him, even if Sabine and the rest of their team had to leave, he would stay and find his Garazeb. There was no question in his mind. If it meant dying to find him, Kallus would do it.  _

_ With this understanding came a profound wave of peace and, with the peace, came something . . . else. Suddenly, he could feel the room, he could feel everything in it, and (there!) he could feel  _ **_Zeb_ ** _.  _

_ “We need to set up a search pattern. Kallus and I will take -.” _

_ “Hold on,” Kallus interrupted her, setting a hand on her armored shoulder. He stepped past her, looking down the walkway, following the feeling.  _

_ “Kallus?” Sabine watched him moving away, hand slightly outstretched as he walked. Her eyes teared up in her helmet as she was reminded of a father - and a little brother - who did something very similar.  _

_ “Commander, should we -.” _

_ “Give him a second. I think I know what’s happening,” she managed through the tears that slowly trailed down her cheeks.  _

_ Kallus moved through the hold. His fingers trailed down crates and containers, but he turned away from them. Another turn through the maze and it was stronger. A right, a left. He nearly lost the rest of the team when he suddenly climbed a wall of crates to get to the ones of the other side.  _

_ The whole time, the anger was muted, the despair was held at bay by a feeling of cool certainty. He knew what he needed to do and knew what he was willing to do. For one of the first times in Kallus’s life, he was completely at peace with what he was doing and why he was doing it. Finally, he came to a stop in front of one of the larger shipping crates. Placing a hand against its exterior, he paused and looked for the feeling.  _

_ No. Not right.  _

_ Feeling drained and exhausted, Kallus reached out again. He didn’t know what was happening. His limbs felt weak, his movements sluggish. All that kept him going was the need to find Zeb.  _

_ There he is. _

_ Looking up at the crate sitting above the one he stood before, he called, “Sabine! It’s this one! He’s in here!”  _

_ The sound of the Mandalorian’s jetpack filled the space as she flew over his head. She hovered before the locked doors for a moment before drawing one of her pistols and shooting the lock. The door took some pushing, but she eventually slid through and disappeared into the darkened interior of the shipping crate.  _

_ Kallus waited. It was one of the longest moments of his life as he waited to find out if Zeb was in that container. The silence stretched. Finally, he couldn’t take it anymore and started climbing the shipping container. His arms shook with exhaustion as he pulled himself up and over the edge of the container. Looking up from his position lying on the floor of the container, his eyes tracked to where Sabine was knelt beside a cage at the back of a row. Her helmet turned in his direction as he scrambled over to her, falling to her side to peer between the bars.  _

_ Zeb was in the cage. His large hands were bound in front of him and the fur on the side of his head was matted with dark blood. Kallus’s eyes welled with tears as he saw the other wounds criss-crossing over the Lasat’s arms.  _

_ “There,” Sabine said, yanking the freshly hacked door open, allowing Kallus to crawl into the space.  _

_ The rage that had been simmering beneath the surface returned when he realized that the cage was small for a human, making it miniscule for a Lasat, but he pushed it back down. Rage wouldn’t help Zeb in that moment. When it would, he’d have it in abundance.  _

_ “Zeb!” He called, hands cradling Zeb’s face, careful to not press on any of his injuries. “Can you hear me?” _

_ Zeb remained silent.  _

_ “Garazeb! Please, Garazeb. Come back. Come back to me,” Kallus pleaded, leaning his forehead against Zeb’s as weariness seemed to overtake his bones.  _

_ “Sasha?” _

“Sabine was quite discreet to not mention how emotional I became, for which I thanked her later. For her young age, she is very wise.” Yawning, Kallus looked down at the little kit in his arms and spoke softly. “Anyways, we went back to the rebel base and Uncle Zeb recovered. I scolded him for being a fool. Then I told him I loved him.” He smiled at the memory. 

“And what did that ‘fool Lasat’ say in response?”

Absentmindedly, Kallus answered. “He said that he loved me, too.” Startled, Kallus looked towards the doorway and relaxed when he saw Zeb there, leaning against the door. Dressed only in a pair of shorts, Kallus couldn’t help but smile at the way Zeb’s fur puffed up when he was relaxed. It made him look - dare he say - fluffy. 

“That he did. And does,” Zeb drawled, voice low and heavy with fatigue. 

Kallus smiled up at him. “How long have you been standing there?”

“Long enough to know you never told me that story. All I remember is getting captured - I think I was drugged - then you were there, and then we were back on Yavin.” His eyes were inquiring and Kallus was pleased to see that he didn’t look hurt as he asked, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t think it was relevant.”

The question fled Zeb’s eyes as his expression turned so fond that Kallus almost blushed. “Everything about you is relevant to me.” He crossed over to them and slid down the wall, looping his arm around Kallus’s back and gently nudging him towards his chest. Kallus gratefully accepted the support, since his lower back was beginning to bother him, and leaned against the Lasat. 

“Any idea how much longer we’ve got?” Kallus asked around a yawn, nuzzling his head into Zeb’s shoulder. 

“About 4 hours,” Zeb answered, his voice coming from somewhere close to Kallus’s ear. He could feel his partner’s breath against this temple as arms wound around him and the baby sleeping in his arms. 

“That’s enough time for a little bit of sleep, right?”

“I hope so, but it all depends on if she stays asleep.”

“Just don’t wake her with your snoring and we’ll be fine.” 

“No promises.”

* * *

Zeb rejoined Kallus as he stood off to the side of the small farm. Two Lasat were happily cooing over the small baby that Zeb and he had just returned. They’d been so grateful for her rescue, offering anything and everything they had, which Kallus and Zeb respectfully declined. The farmers didn’t have much; to take anything for the return of their daughter felt wrong. She’d been stolen by slavers, who’d been dealt with.

Zeb held up a small sack. “Meilooruns,” he explained, calling over the wind so that Kallus could hear him as Zeb ascended the hill to him. “They wouldn’t take no. I figured we could give them as a gift to Hera.” He noticed Kallus’s pensive gaze as he joined him. The human was watching the small family, something warm and longing in his light brown eyes. “What’s the matter, Alex?”

Kallus seemed to snap back to the present, shaking his head in surprise as he realized that Zeb was beside him. “Hmm? What? Oh, nothing. Sorry. Just - thinking,” he offered wistfully.

Zeb wound an arm around his waist and leaned towards him. “About what?”

“Nothing. Don’t worry,” Kallus said, giving Zeb’s cheek a pat before turning and walking back towards their ship. 

The wind blew around them, causing the tall grass that they’d parked their ship in to wave with Kallus’s blonde hair. Zeb watched him for a few moments before taking a deep breath and steeling himself. He could tell that Kallus wasn’t being open with him; there was obviously something on his mind. There’d been something he’d been wanting to talk to his partner about, too. And now was as good a time as ever.

“Hey! Kal!” 

Kallus stopped and turned to look at him. Maybe Zeb was imagining things, but he would swear there was something hopeful in the human’s eyes. “Yes?”

Zeb jogged to get to him. “There was actually something I wanted to talk to you about.”

“Okay?” Kallus answered when Zeb paused, crossing his arms over his chest. 

“Have you - umm - ever thought about settling down?” Zeb asked, raising a hand to rub across the back of his neck. 

He wasn’t imagining it when Kallus’s hands clenched tighter around his biceps. “What do you mean?”

“Well, I mean, what if we - you and I - settled down and,” the last three words came out slowly, like he was trying each of them out at a time, “started a family?”

Kallus’s eyes were wide as he looked up at Zeb and clarified, “You mean like a family family? Like . . .”

“Like kits.” Zeb picked up where he left off.

One of Kallus’s hands, previously gripping his arm, covered his mouth as tears filled his eyes and spilled down his cheeks. His knees gave out and he folded at the waist, curling up in a ball in the grass. 

“Karabast! Alex, I’m sorry!” Zeb dropped the sack of meilooruns as he knelt in front of Kallus and grasped his shoulders. “I know it’s a huge step. We don’t have to. I understand. I just wanted to ask and-.”

“No! Garazeb, I,” Kallus said, looking up at Zeb and grasping his arms in return. With his face uncovered and looking back up at Zeb, the Lasat could see that he was smiling. If Zeb was a romantic, he may have even said that Kallus was glowing. Joy radiated from his eyes as he looked at him, though, and he laughed even as tears poured down his cheeks. “I never thought, with everything that’s happened, that I would have,” he laughed as he said the words, “a family. I thought I was lucky enough to have you. I’m sorry, it’s just -.” He shook his head in confusion as he looked up at Zeb. His hands moved from the honor guards arms to his face and he cradled Zeb like something made of the most precious material. “I never thought that I would be lucky enough to have you and a family; that you would want to have that with me.”

Still kneeling in the grass, Zeb’s arms wound around Kallus’s back. He pulled him closer until they were pressed chest to chest, foreheads practically touching as he said, “There’s no one else I’d want it to be.” 

Kallus laughed and jumped forward, throwing his arms around Zeb’s neck and kissing him. Zeb caught him and kissed him back, savoring the feel of his love happy in his arms. He pushed to his feet, taking Kallus with him, and, as he twirled them through the grass, their laughter was carried and echoed by the wind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Day 3 down. Time to start planning Day 4. I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'M GOING TO DO.   
> Thanks for reading!


	4. Day 4 - I Gotcha

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Kallus is severely injured on a mission, Zeb may find himself faced with a reality that he isn't sure of and information that he doesn't know what to do with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have rewritten this chapter so many times! Finally, I decided to stop nit-picking and share it. I even did some research on hypothermia (although I am no expert and there are sure to be inaccuracies, but I left them for the tropes). I hope everyone enjoys it!
> 
> This chapter is loosely connected to Chapter 2 as it references that sparring match.

“Why does this always happen to us?” Zeb growled, lowering the binocs from where he’d been peering out over the tundra. 

“Maybe we’re just lucky,” Kallus answered from beside him. He looked over at him and couldn’t hide the giggle of amusement at the miserable expression on Zeb’s face. 

“What?” The Lasat growled.

“Nothing. Absolutely nothing,” he assuaged as he reached up to brush a pile of snow from atop Zeb’s head.

Zeb smiled down at him and Kallus couldn’t help but feel a little bit warmer. Whatever  **this** was had been getting stronger. They’d found themselves drawn to each other outside of Rebellion work and conversations had gotten less formal and easier. Perhaps Kallus was just imagining it, but there had been a difference in their last duel, too. There had always been a respect for their skills and dexterity before, but, this last time, there’d been an awareness of their physicallity that Kallus couldn’t remember being there before. 

“Ya think we’ve got enough intel?” Zeb asked, snapping Kallus out of his thoughts.

Kallus was grateful that he could blame the color in his cheeks on the cold and frowned. “I don’t know. We could always get more. They haven’t discovered us yet.”

“Isn’t that kind of the goal?”

Kallus shot him a glare and sighed, his breath puffing out in front of him in a cloud. “Let’s head back. We can review all of our data and decide on the shuttle.”

“Sounds good to me,” Zeb agreed as they pushed themselves up from the snow. They kept low so those inside the base wouldn’t be able to see them and half crawled until they were out of visible range. They’d parked the shuttle close enough to not freeze during the walk, but far enough away that they could safely land and take off without being in danger of being easily spotted on scanners. 

Arriving at the back door, fighting off bone deep shivers, Zeb frowned at the back hatch of the shuttle remaining closed as they approached. Pulling out their short-range communicator, he growled into it, “Chop. We’re outside. Open the door.”

Kallus watched the horizon, running his gloved hands over his arms, as Chopper responded in a series of frantic sounding whirs and beeps. As the droid finished, he looked over his shoulder at Zeb, trying to confirm what he’d just heard. 

Zeb was giving him an equally confused look as he raised the communicator back to his face. “What do you mean there’s something out here?”

Kallus turned back around, eyes going wide at what he saw rising from the snow as Zeb continued. 

“Chopper, there’s nothing out here, now open the blasted do-.”

“Zeb!” 

Kallus threw himself against Zeb just in time to shove the Lasat out of the way as a hooked appendage cut through the air where he’d been standing. 

The momentum carried them away from the shuttle and closer to the hill that they’d landed beside. They both rolled back up to their hands and knees, pushing themselves upright in the snow. The loose particles moved under them as they fought for traction, making their balance questionable. 

Kallus drew his blaster and aimed at the creature. He’d never seen anything like it before. 

White and blue, it had spines that ran along its back and head. The tips turned bright orange and there were vein-like systems close to its skin that pulsed with a similar orange glow. Massive pincers hooked on either side of its face as it leered down at them with six black, beady eyes. It had eight legs along its body, the front two which it used for its attacks. 

Kallus’s shots, aimed at the neck and head of the creature, did almost nothing. The bug-like creature flinched as the energy bolts struck the side of its head before hissing and darting towards him. Kallus dodged to the side again, moving just in time to not have his head taken off. However, he wasn’t fast enough to avoid the hooked claws that raked down his back, shredding through his coat and tearing into his skin. He bounced off the side of the creature as it turned and found himself toppling over the edge and down the side of the hill. 

He rolled and tumbled, his gun lost somewhere in the snow drift as, for a few seconds, he lost track of up and down. His shoulder struck something hard as he stopped rolling and he was vaguely aware of sliding across something smooth as he tried to clear his head. 

Zeb, from up on the hill, watched this all happen. “Kallus!” His bo rifle was off his back and extended in a second as he attempted to get past the creature to get to the human, but it snaked to block his path. Raising the bo rifle to block the strike, Zeb wasn’t prepared for the sheer power of the blow. It knocked him back into the hull of their shuttle and his head hit the side, sending his vision swimming. He dropped to a knee, disoriented but still aware of the danger. His limbs didn’t want to listen to him as he shouted internally at himself to raise his rifle. 

Kallus shook his head and pushed himself to his hands and knees, wincing at the pain it ignited in his back. He could feel the deep furrows in his skin as he stumbled to his feet, his attention fixing on the horrific sight on the hill. 

Zeb was down. The creature was stalking towards him. Kallus had  _ seconds  _ to act. 

His mind raced. He tore through plan after plan. Most of them didn’t end well. He didn’t give another moment of thought to any of them that resulted in Zeb’s death. He would never entertain the option. 

Unconsciously taking a step forward, he froze at the sharp  _ CRACK  _ that emanated from beneath him. Looking down, he saw the spider web of fissures spreading from under his foot and a plan formed immediately in his mind. 

Zeb would be furious at him. 

If he survived. 

He stripped his coat off quickly, throwing it to the side as he exposed himself to the sharp biting winds. They were almost unbearable against the bare, torn skin of his back, but he ignored the pain as he acted. Stripping a glove off his hand, he threw it to the side, as well, before running his palm across the wounds, shuddering before his mind steeled itself and he raised it high in the air. “Hey! Over here!” His plan worked. 

The creature turned away from Zeb, attention caught by the scent of Kallus’s blood on the wind. All six of its black eyes turned towards him. Maybe he was imagining it, but he would swear that he could see his reflection in their gaze. 

Its body turned slowly and it moved away from the downed Lasat. Kallus pressed his foot deeper into the ice, trying to make the creature’s attention stay on him while he did it. 

It moved down the bank, weaving like a Lothal water snake, before it also stepped out onto the frozen lake. 

Kallus intently watched each of its steps, smiling as the creature’s pointed legs easily cracked through the ice.  _ Just a little bit closer, _ he thought, trying to control his breathing against the fear building in his chest. 

“Kallus!” Zeb called, again, from the top of the hill. His bo rifle was held limply in his hand, eyes wide with terror at what he was seeing when Kallus spared a second to match eyes with him. 

“Garazeb Orrelios, you stay where you are!” Kallus shouted back, attention shifting back to the creature. He couldn’t let himself gaze at the lasat too long. If he did, his fear may take over. Kallus was doing this for Zeb, to keep him safe. The only other desire that was as strong for him, at that point, was the desire to stay with Zeb. Forever. 

But if keeping Zeb safe meant that he had to die, he would do it. 

It took another step. Kallus pressed down one last time. The ice broke. 

Kallus jumped back just as the creature flailed and fell through into the icy water. It thrashed as its legs disappeared and the heavy scales of its body pulled it down. He scooted away on his backside, hands scrambling against the ice behind him, eyes wide as he watched the creature give one last screech before disappearing. 

Only when the water began to settle did Kallus allow himself a breath of relief. “I can’t believe that worked,” he breathed, smiling up at Zeb. 

Zeb looked between him and the hole in the ice before returning the smile. His large feet worked well as he slid down the side of the hill. “I’m comin’ to get ya, Kal.”

“Zeb, no, stay where you are!” Kallus called back. “This ice barely holds me! I don’t want you falling through!”

“It held that thing for a bit!”

“And your point?” Kallus smiled and laughed at the indignant face Zeb gave him before pushing himself to his feet. He started to carefully skirt around the hole, keeping an eye on the fissures. “Don’t worry. I’ll be there in a -.” 

The creature thrashed out of the hole, screeching on its final attempt to save itself. Kallus could see it was failing as it began to sink back under, but not before its legs hit the ice under his feet. His arms went out as he tried to keep his balance, but it was a fruitless effort as there was nothing to keep his balance on. His last view was of the terrified visage of Zeb as he fell through the ice. 

It was  _ cold.  _ It was so cold that no other word could actually encapsulate how cold it was. To call it freezing was an understatement. So was glacial, frigid, and numbing. They all described it, just not enough. His mind decided on cold before it started to slow. His limbs wouldn’t respond like normal and the urge to breathe in was almost overwhelming. He could feel his bad knee seizing up and it  _ hurt  _ before he couldn’t feel it anymore. It felt like knives were being thrust into his back before it also went silent. 

The training of the Imperial Academy was useful occasionally. This was one of those times. He acted on autopilot. His muscles started to push back, his vision tunneling around the hole in the ice that he needed to get back to. It felt like he was swimming for parsecs. It was a surprise when he burst into the air and it was so much worse than it had been in the water. A part of Kallus’s mind begged him to go back under.  _ It’s warmer in there,  _ it whispered. He almost listened to it before another voice got his attention. 

“Kal! Kal, can ya hear me! Just, wait right there. I’m coming to ya!” 

Looking up from where he had anchored himself with his arms on the side of the hole, Kallus hazily watched Zeb drop his bo rifle and take a step out onto the ice. The ice cracked beneath his foot. “Karabast,” Zeb cursed before getting down on his knees and laying down on his stomach. From there, he started to crawl across the ice, slowly inching his way to Kallus’s position. 

Kallus wanted to call out to him, tell him to stop, that it was too dangerous, but he couldn’t seem to catch his breath enough to speak and his teeth were chattering violently. His whole body shook and he slid partially back into the water, the sodden fibers of his sweater, that had frozen partially to the ice, the only things that saved him from completely disappearing. 

“Kal! Listen to me,” Zeb said, increasing his careful pace. “I need ya to hold on, okay? I’m almost there. I’m comin’ to ya. 

Kallus weakly shook his head. “D-d-dang-us,” he managed. When had he become so tired? “Zzzzeb,” he mumbled, head lowering to rest against his arm. 

“Alex! Don’t you dare!”

Suddenly, hands were on him. Large hands, pulling him out of the water. They grabbed him under his arms and pulled him in shuffling movements. First, his torso so he was bent at the waist. Then, his legs. He tried to help, a part of him knowing that he needed to do something or he would die, but he was just  _ so cold _ . 

“Here. I gotcha,” Zeb said, pulling him the rest of the way out. It scared him how empty and blank Kallus’s eyes looked; how he moved limply beneath his hands. The Fulcrum was freezing, every place Zeb touched feeling like ice beneath his hands. “Okay. I gotcha. I gotcha. I’m going to get ya out of here. Doncha worry. I gotcha.” He briefly debated grabbing the human and making a run for it, but both of them ending up in the water wouldn’t do Kallus any favors, so he resorted back to his inchworm tactic, only, this time, he had Kallus to pull with him. 

It took far too long, in his opinion, to reach the side of the lake. By the time they were in the clear, Kallus had gone unresponsive. Zeb didn’t waste any time. 

He grabbed his bo rifle and jammed it on his back before scooping Kallus into his arms. Kallus’s eyes were closed, his breathing shallow and Zeb couldn’t feel him shivering. His head laid limply against Zeb’s chest as he ascended the hill, his large feet making the climb somewhat easier. Having the soaking wet Kallus pressed against him, saturating his winter clothes, made the wind just that much more biting, but he found that if Kallus could leach any of his body heat away to help himself, Zeb really didn’t mind. 

He’d seen humans sick and injured before. Ashla, he’d been serving on a ship with 3 of them for awhile before they were officially part of “The Rebellion”, but this was different. Kallus looked almost blue. His skin had gone so unnaturally pale that Zeb felt fear welling up deep in his stomach. There was no movement beneath his eyelids like he was dreaming and his body felt boneless. Zeb felt his hands unconsciously tighten their hold on the ex-imperial as he came to a stop outside the back door of the shuttle. 

This time, it opened with little struggle and Zeb quickly stepped inside, ducking under the still opening door. “Chopper!” He called to the cockpit as he pulled some seats out with his foot, arms still laden. “Get us on course back for base!” For a moment, he considered not doing the extra jumps, like they were supposed to; foregoing them in exchange for getting Kallus back to Yavin-IV as fast as possible. Gently laying the ex-imperial down, he couldn’t stop himself as his hand slowly brushed some of the hair out of Kallus’s face. Zeb knew that the human would be furious with him if he found out he had skipped the jumps. “Standard number of jumps,” he added. He heard Chopper beep at him from the front before the shuttle slowly began to move. 

Zeb’s hands were already busy stripping the sodden clothes from Kallus. He took all the fantasies and thoughts of what it would be like to do just what he was doing and shoved them into a dark corner of his mind. Now - maybe never - was the time for that. Kallus had just saved his life. Now it was Zeb’s turn to save him. 

It was only after he had removed Kallus’s shirt and found the torn strips that comprised the back of it that he remembered the blood on Kallus’s hand, earlier. One hand on the back of Kallus’s neck, he slowly looked over the human’s shoulder, eyes going wide at the injuries he saw across his back. 

Two deep, jagged tears stretched from his shoulder blade to his hip. The edges were red and angry from the cold, but the bleeding had been minimized because of it, as well. 

“Oh, Kal,” Zeb murmured. “You never do things half-way, do ya.” He was careful as he laid the man down on the seats he’d pulled out, turning him on his side so he wouldn’t be laying on his back. He stepped away and started going through the holds, pulling out med-kits, blankets, and the extra set of clothes that he found. They looked larger than the human, but they were something. Zeb rolled Kallus over to expose his back and carefully started applying bacta to the wounds, slowly covering each of the tears with a generous amount of medicine. Once satisfied, he leaned the man forward and propped him up against his chest so he could wrap his torso in bandage. It unnerved him that Kallus didn’t wake through his ministrations. The man was normally a light sleeper, waking at the slightest of sounds. From the way that Zeb would often find him sipping a mug of luke-warm caf and working on a pad in the mess hall early in the morning, he had the idea that Kallus wasn’t the kind of person that could simply roll over and go back to sleep.

With his wounds treated, Zeb stripped him down to his undergarments and started redressing him in the clothes he found. If it wasn’t for the dire circumstances, Zeb may have smiled at the way that the clothes hung baggily from his form, making him look small. As it was, Zeb could only frown and finish by wrapping Kallus in a soft blanket. 

“Kallus?” Zeb tried, eyes fixed on Kallus’s face. “C’mon, mate.” Nothing. “Chop, how long before we get back to base?” He called over his shoulder. He listened to the response and nodded.  _ 4 hours.  _ “A’right. Thanks. Keep me updated.”

Kallus had started shivering and Zeb frowned at the furrow of pain on his brow. Before he could stop himself, he was gently maneuvering himself under Kallus’s head, pulling the man into his arms and holding him tight against his chest. The shivering continued as Zeb held him, slowly tracing circles against the blanket with his thumbs.

“I gotcha, Kal. I gotcha.” 

* * *

When his eyes managed to open, he couldn’t see a whole lot. Everything was slightly blurry, swimming in and out of focus as he tried to remember where he was. His knee was aching fiercely and there was sharp pain in his back. However, there was a pleasant pressure around his torso and the feeling of someone holding him. It wasn’t something he was used to, but he liked it. 

“Kal? Can you hear me? Ya with me?”

_ Zeb. _

“Yeah, that’s me.”

_ Did I say that out loud? _

“Yeah, ya did.”

“Zeb,” Kallus whispered, conscious of the fact he’d said it aloud this time. “Whe - wha -.”

“Shh,” Zeb soothed, his arms shifting to ensure he wasn’t pressing against the man’s back. “Just take it easy. I gotcha.”

“I know,” Kallus breathed, his words slurring. “You got me. I'm yours.”

Zeb froze. His mind raced over the words he’d just heard.  _ He’s delirious. Blood loss and hypothermia. He doesn’t know what he’s saying.  _ He watched Kallus’s head slowly fall back against his chest as the man sank back into unconsciousness.  _ Ashla.  _ Despite everything, Zeb cursed at how he hoped that, even if Kallus didn’t know what he was saying, that he meant it all the same.

* * *

Hera frowned down at the console. “What do you mean, Spectre 3?” She didn’t wait for an answer as the sound of engines overhead alerted her that they were much closer than Chopper had originally led her to believe. She jogged from the hanger, aware of Ezra and Sabine joining her as they appeared from wherever mischief had led them. 

“What’s going on, Hera?” Ezra asked, his voice laced with concern as they watched the shuttle land. 

“Chopper, Zeb, and Kallus are back,” she supplied, eyes fixed on the ship as it finished landing. “Chopper said someone was hurt? Sick? I’m not sure; he wasn’t being very clear.”

“Why didn’t Zeb or Kallus clarify?” Sabine asked. Her question was answered as the back door opened.

Zeb stepped out from underneath it, already jogging towards them. All their eyes were fixed on Kallus, though, tucked tightly against his chest. 

The ex-imperial’s skin was pale and there were dark rings under his eyes. A thin sheen of sweat glistened on his brow as he winced, his hand unconsciously gripping at the front of Zeb’s jumpsuit. 

His condition wasn’t what they were focused on. It was the way that Zeb was holding him, like something fragile and precious, and the way that Zeb’s eyes pleaded with them as he approached, silently begging them for help. 

When he was within range, he simply said, “He needs a medic.”

Hera recovered the quickest and nodded, already turning to lead the way to the infirmary. “Come on. You can debrief me after.” 

* * *

He didn’t know when his eyes had slid open. One moment, blissful nothingness. The next, the ceiling of the infirmary. He could have groaned at how familiar of a sight it was becoming. Nevertheless, he silently thanked whoever had had the foresight to mute the lights. Soft voices echoed from somewhere nearby and instinct tried to make him listen in, but he was too tired. Everything ached, especially his knee, but there was a telling, cooling feeling along his back.  _ Bacta _ , he realized. He’d grown familiar with the feeling of it since joining the Rebellion. 

_ “You never do things halfway.” _

Kallus closed his eyes, trying to remember where he’d heard that. It couldn’t be a memory. Not when it was in Zeb’s voice. Now that he was trying, he found that he couldn’t remember much. 

“Alex? Can ya hear me?”

Kallus relaxed. Zeb’s hand ghosted along his shoulder, alerting him to the fact that someone had propped him up on his side. He tilted his head and looked up into the wide, worried eyes of the Rebel captain. Something pinched in his chest while a voice reminded him that he didn’t deserve that concern. 

Just for the moment, he pushed the voice back. “Garazeb. You’re alright.” The hand on his shoulder shifted to the back of his neck. It was warm and grounding. He focused on it as Zeb spoke. 

“Of course I’m alright. It’s you that I was worried about. What were ya thinkin’?” His voice was thick with emotion, the accent making the words almost run together. 

Kallus paused. What was he thinking? “That - creature. I was afraid that it was going to kill you. It seemed like a good plan.” 

“Except for the part where you could’ve  **died** ,” Zeb insisted. Despite the hard edge to his voice, his hand remained soft and comforting as his fingers found there way into Kallus’s hair. 

“But I didn’t.”

“But you could’ve.”

“I could’ve done a lot of things, Garazeb, and then where would we be?” Kallus shot back. They sat silently, both thinking their own thoughts that were not as different as they believed, before Kallus added, “You are the one who is always reminding me not to focus on the “could have”, aren’t you?”

Zeb sighed. “You scared me, Kal. When you dropped under the ice, I thought . . .”

Kallus reached out, grabbing a seam of Zeb’s jumpsuit, his fingers weakly grasping it in a vaguely familiar muscle memory. “I’m sorry. I did not mean to worry you.”

The chuckle that emanated from deep in Zeb’s chest was filled with guilt as he muttered, “Please. Don’t. You saved my life. You shouldn’t be apologizin’. I should be thankin’ ya.” His yellow eyes fixed on Kallus’s amber ones as he said, “Thank you.”

The words were so genuine, so brimming with emotions that the voice in his head was now screaming that he didn’t deserve that Kallus almost felt uncomfortable. Except that this was Zeb. But then, his mind started racing for what to say.  _ I’d do it again. Always. I can’t stand the thought of losing you. I love you.  _ That last one was right out. He decided on, “Anytime. I know you would do the same for me.” He cleared his throat and tried to move before wincing. The hand in his hair moved back to his shoulder, gently pushing him back down. “What did I miss?”

Something changed in Zeb’s eyes. “What d’ya remember?” 

Kallus didn’t know what the careful shielding and nervousness in Zeb meant, so he said, “Last thing I remember was you pulling me out of the water. Everything gets a little hazy after that.”

“You don’t remember anything?”

“No,” Kallus answered. Something was definitely wrong. What had happened?  _ What did I say?  _ “Why? What happened?”

Zeb’s eyes were wide, his jaw slack for a second before his expression snapped back to neutral. If Kallus hadn’t been spending so much time with the Lasat, he probably would have accepted it without question. As it was, he knew that something was off. “Nothin’. I gotcha ya back here to base and they fixed ya up.”

“Nothing happened,” Kallus repeated, looking for confirmation.

Zeb shook his head. “Nope. Oh, by the way,” he redirected, “that intel we got . . .”

There was a part of Zeb that wanted to tell him what he’d said, ask if it was true, find out if Kallus also had feelings for him, but he silenced it. He wouldn’t force him to do that.  _ He was delirious,  _ he repeated to himself as he debriefed the human on the impact of the information they’d gathered.  _ He didn’t know what he was saying.  _

But deep somewhere, a voice that could never quite be silenced whispered,  _ But what if he did? _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I'm late. All I can offer is that my workplace has been open this whole time (despite the fact that I'm not an essential employee) and I'm so drained from interacting with people (and corporate) and working on exams that it took me a long time to finish this. Thank you for your patience! I hope you enjoyed it! Consider leaving a kudo or a review! They give me LIFE. :)


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